I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
