Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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