He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
