So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
