belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My cat gives me a boner
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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