Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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