His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
