i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you never un-have a 4some
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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