He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
