dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
