end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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