I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
