I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
