spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
