ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
