I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize