she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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