remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
