It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
