they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
