i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
