peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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