I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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