i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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