What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize