How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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