I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
