I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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