I think I died a long time ago.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
