I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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