Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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