I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize