so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
