dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
