We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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