question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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