just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
