dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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