Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
