Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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