This is not my ceiling
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
