Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
