I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
and eventually we just all took our pants off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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