after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
