Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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