physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
