I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
