ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
