Say something about gay babies.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
