she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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