I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
