Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I understand Curling. That high.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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