I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize