so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
