he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The air was thick with penises
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
