Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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