btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
