if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
