The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
