If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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