First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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