On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize