she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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