ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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