Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
